SMARMSLUT ADEPT: Hello again everyone! You'll be happy to see that the Master and I managed to escape from the basement.

SMARMSLUT QUEEN: I hope you two learned your lesson! No more stealing candy from my office!

SMARMSLUT MASTER: We sure did!

ADEPT: We'll never ever steal candy from your office again.

QUEEN: Good.

MASTER: That's not where you keep the good stuff anyway.

QUEEN: Um, what?

ADEPT: Yeah, we know all about your Godiva stash! And we ate that too!!

QUEEN: Uh, I don't know what you mean.

MASTER: Sure you don't, Miss Truffle-Assortments-hidden-in-the-copier-paper-cabinet.

QUEEN: Oh.

ADEPT: See! We outsmarted you!

QUEEN: You sure did.

MASTER: Ha!

QUEEN: Congratulations, guys, you just ate your Christmas presents.

(pause)

MASTER: Oh.

ADEPT: Oh. Well, they were delicious, anyway.

********

Ashes of the Mind, pt 13
by the Smarm Sluts

It was now just dark, the men had set themselves up in the saloon, Buck , as usual, flirting with all the girls. The girl with the scars on her face peeked in through the curtain in the back and hesitantly joined the other girls. They all turned from her attempted smile, and turned their backs on her. Buck noticed this and immediately put his plan into motion.

"Now ladies," he smiled at the ones he had been flirting with. "Is that any way to treat another lady?"

"She's no 'lady'," The redhead scoffed, disdain in her voice. "She's a nobody."

Buck didn't have to feign his anger. The poor girl looked whipped and was about to make a retreat when Buck gently took her arm. "I disagree. All you fair members of the female persuasion are ladies. What's your name darlin.?"

"M...Maggie." She stammered, looking at the ground.

"Now Maggie, that's a right pretty name." Buck kept his voice gentle and ignored the astonished looks of the other working girls. He was ignoring THEM for this ugly woman?

"Nothin' about me is pretty." Maggie whispered, still looking at the floor.

"Yeah." The blonde snorted derisively "She's as ugly as a broken rail fence."

Buck was truly angry at the women now. He turned to them, never relinquishing his hold on Maggie. "I mean it now. That is NO way to treat another parson. Your attitude is far uglier than she will ever be."

He had startled the women with his fierce quietness. They were beginning to feel guilty, looking at each other for support.

Buck turned back to the girl."Now darlin', how about you and me take a little walk."

Maggie looked at him like he must be joking. No one as nice and as beautiful as this man wanted anything to do with her after her accident. But the sincerity she saw in his eyes made her believe and she gave him a tentative smile and took his offered arm. Together they walked out into the night, Buck cajoling a smile from the girl.

Chris and the others, who had been watching the whole thing, shook their heads in amusement. Trust Buck to get the job done.

"Ready?" Vin looked at Chris in anticipation. Time to get some answers.

"Yup." Was all Chris had to say, and the group casually got up and left, purposefully going in different directions.

Ten minutes later they were all in place. Chris wanted this to go on without a shot and had planned for a swift strike. He was by the back door, Vin and Nathan on the roof, Josiah at the front. Chris doubted the man inside was well enough to put up much of a fight. But he was going to be careful all the same.

Chris heard Vin's bird call and knew the time was right. The street was clear, and he whistled back, the signal to go in.

Vin swung down into a window he had quietly opened as Nathan followed him, almost as silent. He could hear Josiah providing the distraction, playing a drunk and pounding on the door. Chris was going to go in the back door as the man was distracted by Josiah.

Vin looked about in the dark room, down the stairs he could barely make out the figure of their hunt, lying listlessly on a bed, only one lamp next to him illuminated the house. Vin nearly gagged at the stench of stale blood and infection. The man was likely dead or dying.

Vin saw Chris enter the building and nearly gag at the stench too, it must be worse closer to the man.

The man on the bed didn't move, and Vin crept down the stairs. His eyes were open, but he wasn't moving. Vin saw Chris approach him, gun at the ready.

"Come to shoot me and end my pain?" Came a weak voice from the bed, and the man looked at Chris, eyes fever bright.

"Nope." Chris went to the mans side, motioning Nathan to come. "Come to take you in."

The man laughed sadly. "We both know I'm dyin'. I ain't gonna live much longer."

"Why didn't you go for help?" Nathan asked, cutting the bloody bandage around the mans waist, keeping his face neutral. But the smell of the infection didn't prepare them for the extent of the damage. There was no help for this man anymore.

"I couldn't. The law is after me an' so is my former boss." The man sighed and looked at Chris unflinchingly. "I ain't gonna say I'm a good man, but I weren't gonna abide by that sadistic bastard a second longer. And I got shot by him for my efforts."

"Where is he." Chris asked, knowing from Nathan's face that it was hopeless, the man was indeed dying in front of them.

"Headed for some loony house. The Branford Asylum, heard tell it's a safehouse from the law" The man coughed, pain racking his wasted frame. "I weren't going to die there, so I tried to leave, make for Mexico, but he shot me. Kinda glad he did. Now maybe I'll die in peace."

No one noticed when Josiah had entered the room, but he spoke next. "Why did you follow him? Doesn't sound like you thought much of him."

"Weakness on my part. My land was failing me, and he come along asking for help in 'retrieving' his property. It sounded so innocent. So I left my family, the money he promised was good, real good. I let me greed get to me." The man winced, getting worn out in the talking. Nathan gave him some water and he continued his story. "Later come to find out the property we 'retrieved' for him was government gold, we were all wanted men now. I never went back to my family, I was too ashamed, so I stayed with him for lack of a better idea. That was six months ago."

Chris frowned, shaking his head. Vin caught his eye and the tracker nodded, heading for the door. The least they could do for this man is get him to the town doctor to die in peace. Chris had gotten what he wanted, he knew where Maxwell was. But it wasn't quite what he wanted to hear. Ezra and JD could be in big trouble.

Josiah recited a prayer over the dying man, just as Vin got back with the Doctor and the Sheriff. The poor man was dead. But Josiah got the name of his wife and son and where they lived and promised to write to them and tell them what happened.

Josiah was filled with fury. Maxwell took everything in his path and twisted it, cruelly taking anything good and perverting it into death and destruction. He wondered if Ezra and JD had any hope of living through an encounter with this man. Especially Ezra, who was not fully recovered from the last one.

"What now Chris?" Nathan's voice was tinged with sadness and a little anxiety.

"We get the Judge here and plan on getting Maxwell out of that asylum and into a gallows." Chris was mad enough to kill. Mad at Maxwell, and a little at himself. He had sent Ezra and JD into the lion's den, now what was going to happen? Chris didn't know, but he had a bad feeling.

"NO!" a quiet whisper from the doorway startled them all. Maggie stood there with Buck. She was pale, looking at the now shrouded body of her benefactor.

"I'm sorry ma'am." Vin took her hand. "He was dyin' when we got here."

"I know he was dying. He wouldn't let me help him more than to clean him up and get him food." She sniffed. "He was kind to me."

"I'm sorry , darlin'" Buck wrapped her into a hug. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

"No." She whispered. "He gave me some money, I have most of it left. Enough to get out of this town."

"Where will you go?" Josiah said kindly as the Doctor and his assistant took the body to the morgue.

Maggie looked away and sighed. "Well, I've got another stray to take care of. Poor kid, found 'im wanderin' around in the desert."

The reaction of the men around her was startling; they all instantly snapped to attention. Buck's eyes widened as he gently grabbed her arm.

"Kid?"

Maggie was taken aback. "Uh-yeah. Real nice kid too, probably about twenty. Was pretty tired, when I got him to my place he drank about a gallon of water, muttered somethin' about some guy named Ezra an' passed out."

"Lord above," Josiah breathed.

Buck and Chris exchanged sharp looks, then Buck turned his gaze on the young woman. "Maggie, you gotta take us to 'im. He's one of us. Is he all right?"

Maggie nodded. "Exhausted an' scraped up like he been in a fight, but he wasn't injured. Someone was cuffin' him up, he's got a handcuff locked on one wrist. He's in my rented room at Mrs. Bergman's, two streets over."

"God, Chris," Buck snarled, releasing Maggie and turning to his friend, "when we get to that asylum I'm liable to go a bit crazy on them monsters myself!"

"I have to go wire the Judge." Chris went to the doorway, his green eyes blazing. "Buck, go with Maggie and see how JD is and what he an' Ezra found out. Everyone keep their eyes open until he gets here. Try to find out anything about this "Asylum " if you can."

"Right Chris." Buck said, escorting Maggie out of the room, the others following.